Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
