he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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