you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize