The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
