I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize