he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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