My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
this hospital has no fireball
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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