let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
