i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
