Duck Duck Cougar?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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