Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
