HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ugly people sure do ruin things
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
