and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
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I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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