We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I have so many feelings about this burrito
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
