Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
