WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
