Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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