Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
