If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
