there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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