Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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