Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
