You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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