I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We smell like vodka and hangover
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
