i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
