I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
