So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
