What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
