He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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