I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
