see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
