I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
