The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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