he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
my poor anus
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
