Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
