On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
