This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
