Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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