All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
