Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
