We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
