3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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