would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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