i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
