soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
