some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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