I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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