a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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