What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
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No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
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And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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