I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
