something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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