Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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