When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
