***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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