In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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