if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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