Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
