you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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