Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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